Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/389

Rh slip or miscarriage that may have happened within twenty years last past.

And, if any lady should find herself aggrieved by the decision of the said Mr. Bettesworth, it shall be lawful for her to remove her cause, by appeal, before the Upright Man in Essex Street, who, having never given a corrupt judgment, may be called, next after his holiness at Rome, the only infallible judge upon earth; and the said Upright Man's determination shall be final and conclusive to all parties.

And forasmuch as it appears, by experience, that this beneficial branch of commerce cannot well be carried on without entries to be made in writing, which, by their great number, might occasion oversights and mistakes, without some prudent restriction; it is humbly proposed, that all appointments, made for any longer time than three months to come, shall be declared utterly null and void: and in case a lady should happen, upon the day prefixed within that term, to be in labour, or to be no longer than one week brought to bed; or if, for the unseasonable hours, her husband should withhold her pin-money, or chain her by the leg to the bed-post; she shall incur no penalty for her nonappearance, there being no doubt of her good inclination.

But no plea of a husband newly buried, or of weeds delayed by a mantua maker, or any other matter of mere fashion or ceremony, shall be in any wise admitted.

And, to the intent that no breach of faith may pass unpunished, it is proposed, that the lady making default shall, at the next party-meeting, take