Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/365

Rh ''Ld. Smart''. Well; but, sir John, they say, that the corruption of pipes is the generation of stoppers.

Sir John. Colonel, I hear you go sometimes to Derbyshire; I wish you would come and foul a plate with me.

Col. I hope, you will give me a soldier's bottle.

Sir John. Come, and try. Mr. Neverout, you are a town wit; can you tell me what kind of herb is tobacco?

Neverout. Why, an Indian herb, sir John.

Sir John. No, 'tis a pot-herb; and so here's t' ye in a pot of my lord's october.

Lady Smart. I hear, sir John, since you are married, you have forswore the town.

Sir John. No, madam; I never forswore any thing but the building of churches.

Lady Smart. Well; but, sir John, when may we hope to see you again in London?

Sir John. Why, madam, not till the ducks have eat up the dirt, as the children say.

Neverout. Come, sir John: I foresee it will rain terribly.

Lady Smart. Come, sir John, do nothing rashly; let us drink first.

''Ld. Sparkish''. I know sir John will go, though he was sure it would rain cats and dogs: but pray stay, sir John; you'll be time enough to go to bed by candle light.

''Ld. Smart''. Why, sir John, if you must needs go; while you stay, make use of your time: here's my service to you, a health to our friends in Derbyshire: come, sit down; let us put off the evil hour as long as we can. Rh