Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/364

354 really, you have all eaten so little, that you have not need to wash your mouths.

''Ld. Smart''. But, prithee, sir John, stay a while longer.

Sir John. No, my lord; I am to smoke a pipe with a friend before I leave the town.

Col. Why, sir John, had not you better set out to morrow?

Sir John. Colonel, you forget to morrow is Sunday.

Col. Now I always love to begin a journey on Sundays, because I shall have the prayers of the church, to preserve all that travel by land, or by water.

Sir John. Well, colonel; thou art a mad fellow to make a priest of.

Neverout. Fie, sir John, do you take tobacco? How can you make a chimney of your mouth?

Sir John. [to Neverout.] What! you don't smoke, I warrant you, but you smock. (Ladies, I beg your pardon.) Colonel, do you never smoke?

Col. No, sir John; but I take a pipe sometimes.

Sir John. I'faith, one of your finical London blades dined with me last year in Derbyshire: so, after dinner, I took a pipe; so my gentleman turn'd away his head: so, said I, what, sir, do you never smoke? so, he answered as you do, colonel; no, but I sometimes take a pipe: so he took a pipe in his hand, and fiddled with it till he broke it: so, said I, pray, sir, can you make a pipe? so, he said, no; so, said I, why then, sir, if you can't make a pipe, you should not break a pipe; so, we all laugh'd. Ld.