Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/356

346 ''Ld. Smart''. Well said, miss; faith, girl, thou hast brought thyself off cleverly. Tom, what say you to that?

Col. Faith, Tom is nonpluss'd; he looks plaguily down in the mouth.

Miss. Why, my lord, you see he is the provokingest creature in life; I believe there is not such another in the varsal world.

Lady Answ. O, miss, the world's a wide place.

Neverout. Well, miss, I'll give you leave to call me any thing, if you don't call me spade.

''Ld. Smart''. Well, but after all, Tom, can you tell me what's Latin for a goose?

Neverout. O, my lord, I know that; why brandy is Latin for a goose, and tace is Latin for a candle.

Miss. Is that manners, to show your learning before ladies? Methinks you are grown very brisk of a sudden; I think the man's glad he's alive.

Sir John. The devil take your wit, if this be wit; for it spoils company: pray, Mr. Butler, bring me a dram after my goose; 'tis very good for the wholesomes.

''Ld. Smart''. Come, bring me the loaf; I sometimes love to cut my own bread.

Miss. I suppose, my lord, you lay longest abed to day.

''Ld. Smart''. Miss, if I had said so, I should have told a fib; I warrant you lay abed till the cows came home: but, miss, shall I cut you a little crust now my hand is in?

Miss. If you please, my lord, a bit of undercrust. Neverout.