Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/344

 Neverout. By no means, madam; one tongue's enough for a woman.

Col. Miss, here's a tongue that never told a lie.

Miss. That was, because it could not speak. Why, colonel, I never told a life in my life.

Neverout. I appeal to all the company, whether that be not the greatest lie that ever was told?

Col. [to Neverout.] Prithee, Tom, send me the two legs, and rump, and liver of that pigeon; for, you must know, I love what nobody else loves.

Neverout. But what if any of the ladies should long? Well, here take it, and the d—l do you good with it.

Lady Answ. Well; this eating and drinking takes away a body's stomach.

Neverout. I am sure I have lost mine.

Miss. What! the bottom of it, I suppose.

Neverout. No, really, miss; I have quite lost it.

Miss. I should be very sorry a poor body had found it.

Lady Smart. But, sir John, we hear you are, married since we saw you last: what! you have stolen a wedding, it seems?

Sir John. Well; one can't do a foolish thing once in one's life, but one must hear of it a hundred times.

Col. And, pray, sir John, how does your lady unknown?

Sir John. My wife's well, colonel, and at your service in a civil way. Ha, ha!

[He laughs.

Miss. Pray, sir John, is your lady tall or short?

Sir John. Why, miss, I thank God, she is a little evil.

''Ld. Sparkish''. Come, give me a glass of claret. Footman.