Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 8.djvu/339

Rh ''Ld. Smart''. But, Tom, I hear you and miss are always quarrelling: I fear, it is your fault; for I can assure you, she is very good humour'd.

Neverout. Ay, my lord; so is the devil when he's pleas'd.

''Ld. Smart''. Miss, what do you think of my friend Tom?

Miss. My lord, I think he's not the wisest man in the world; and truly, he's sometimes very rude.

''Ld. Sparkish''. That may be true; but yet, he that hangs Tom for a fool, may find a knave in the halter.

Miss. Well, however, I wish he were hanged, if it were only to try.

Neverout. Well, miss, if I must be hang'd, I won't go far to choose my gallows; it shall be about your fair neck.

Miss. I'll see your nose cheese first, and the dogs eating it: but, my lord, Mr. Neverout's wit begins to run low; for, I vow, he said this before; pray, colonel, give him a pinch, and I'll do as much for you.

''Ld. Sparkish''. My Lady Smart, your ladyship has a very fine scarf.

Lady Smart. Yes, my lord; it will make a flaming figure in a country church.

Footman. Madam, dinner's upon the table.

Col. Faith, I am glad of it; my belly began to cry cupboard.

Neverout. I wish I may never hear worse news.

Miss. What! Mr. Neverout, you are in great haste; I believe your belly thinks your throat is cut. Neverout.