Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 5.djvu/50

42 was afraid you would have wanted it before this time. Sirrah, sirrah, says I, you shall know tomorrow to your cost, that I am alive, and alive like to be. Why, it is strange, sir, says he, you should make such a secret of your death to us that are your neighbours; it looks as if you had a design to defraud the church of its dues; and let me tell you, for one that has lived so long by the heavens, that is unhandsomely done. Hist, hist, says another rogue that stood by him; away, doctor, into your flannel gear as fast as you can, for here is a whole pack of dismals coming to you with their black equipage, and how indecent will it look for you to stand frighting folks at your window, when you should have been in your coffin this three hours? In short, what with undertakers, embalmers, joiners, sextons, and your damned elegy hawkers upon a late practitioner in physick and astrology, I got not one wink of sleep that night, nor scarce a moment's rest ever since. Now I doubt not but this villanous squire has the impudence to assert, that these are entirely strangers to him; he, good man, knows nothing of the matter, and honest Isaac Bickerstaff, I warrant you, is more a man of honour, than to be an accomplice with a pack of rascals, that walk the streets on nights, and disturb good people in their beds; but he is out, if he thinks the whole world is blind; for there is one John Partridge can smell a knave as far as Grub street, although he lies in the most exalted garret, and writes himself 'squire:  but I will keep my temper, and proceed in the narration.

I could not stir out of doors for the space of three