Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 5.djvu/472

464 to a good king, or a good ministry; for which reason courts are so overrun with politicks.

Silenus, the foster father of Bacchus, is always carried by an ass, and has horns on his head. The moral is, that drunkards are led by fools, and have a great chance to be cuckolds.

Venus, a beautiful good natured lady, was the goddess of love; Juno, a terrible shrew, the goddess of marriage: and they were always mortal enemies.

Those who are against religion, must needs be fools; and therefore we read that of all animals, God refused the first born of an ass.

A very little wit is valued in a woman, as we are pleased with a few words spoken plain by a parrot.

A nice man is a man of nasty ideas.

Apollo was held the God of physick, and sender of diseases. Both were originally the same trade, and still continue.

Old men and comets have been reverenced for the same reason; their long beards, and pretences to foretel events.

A person was asked at court, what he thought of an embassador, and his train, who were all embroidery and lace, full of bows, cringes, and gestures; he said, it was Solomon's importation, gold and apes.

There is a story in Pausanias of a plot for betraying a city discovered by the braying of an ass: the cackling of geese saved the capitol, and Catiline's conspiracy was discovered by a whore. These are the only three animals, as far as I remember, famous in history as evidences and informers. Most