Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 5.djvu/360

352 hour, often in a day, and always in a week. He tells them freely in mixed companies, although he knows half of those that hear him to be his enemies, and is sure they will discover them the moment they leave him. He swears solemnly he loves, and will serve you; and your back is no sooner turned, but he tells those about him, you are a dog and a rascal. He goes constantly to prayers in the forms of his place, and will talk bawdy and blasphemy at the chapel door. He is a presbyterian in politicks, and an atheist in religion; but he chooses at present to whore with a papist. In his commerce with mankind his general rule is, to endeavour to impose on their understandings, for which he has but one receipt, a composition of lies and oaths: and this he applies indifferently to a freeholder of forty shillings, and a privy counsellor; by which the easy and the honest are often either deceived or amused, and either way he gains his point. He will openly take away your employment to day, because you are not of his party; to morrow he will meet or send for you, as if nothing at all had passed, lay his hands with much friendliness on your shoulders, and with the greatest ease and familiarity, tell you, that the faction are driving at something in the house; that you must be sure to attend, and to speak to all your friends to be there, although he knows at the same time, that you and your friends are against him in the very point he mentions: and however absurd, ridiculous, and gross this may appear, he has often found it successful; some men having such an awkward bashfulness, they know not how to refuse on a sudden; and every man having something to fear, which often hinders them from driving things to tremes