Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 5.djvu/21

Rh the liberty of choosing the sickliest season of the year, where he may fix his prediction. Again, "this month an eminent clergyman will be preferred;" of which there may be many hundreds, half of them with one foot in the grave. Then, "such a planet in such a house shows great machinations, plots, and conspiracies, that may in time be brought to light:" after which, if we hear of any discovery, the astrologer gets the honour; if not, his predictions still stand good. And at last, "God preserve king William from all his open and secret enemies, Amen." When if the king should happen to have died, the astrologer plainly foretold it; otherwise it passes but for the pious ejaculation of a loyal subject: though it unluckily happened in some of their almanacks, that poor king William was prayed for many months after he was dead, because it fell out, that he died about the beginning of the year.

To mention no more of their impertinent predictions, what have we to do with their advertisements about "pills and drink for the venereal disease?" or their mutual quarrels in verse and prose of whig and tory, wherewith the stars have little to do?

Having long observed and lamented these, and a hundred other abuses of this art too tedious to repeat, I resolved to proceed in a new way, which I doubt not will be to the general satisfaction of the kingdom: I can this year produce but a specimen of what I design for the future; having employed most part of my time, in adjusting and correcting the calculations I made some years past, because I would offer nothing to the world, of which I am not as fully satisfied, as that I am now alive.