Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 3.djvu/91

N° 22. the whole body. I shall at present mention only two, and illustrate the merits of each by a matter of fact.

That worthy patriot and true lover of the church, whom a late Examiner is supposed to reflect on under the name of Verres, felt a pious impulse to be a benefactor to the cathedral of Gloucester; but how to do it in the most decent, generous manner, was the question. At last he thought of an expedient: one morning, or night, he stole into the church, mounted upon the altar, and there did that, which, in cleanly phrase, is called disburdening of nature. He was discovered, prosecuted, and condemned to pay a thousand pounds; which sum was all employed to support the church, as no doubt the benefactor meant it.

There is another person, whom the same writer is thought to point at under the name of Will Bigamy. This gentleman, knowing that marriage fees were a considerable perquisite to the clergy, found out a way of improving them cent per cent for the good of the church. His invention was to marry a second wife, while the first was alive, convincing her of the lawfulness, by such arguments, as he did not doubt would make others follow the same example. These he had drawn up in writing, with an intention to publish for the general good: and it is hoped, he may now have leisure to finish them. Rh