Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 18.djvu/196

182 my thoughts before I sit down: and, instead of observing privately, as the way is, whom in company I may sit above, in point of birth, age, fortune, or station; I consider only the situation of the table by the points in the compass, and the nearer I can get to the east (which is a point of honour for many reasons, for "por recta majestas ad ortum solis") I am so much the higher; and my good fortune is to sit sometimes, or for the most part, due east, sometimes N. b. E, seldom with greater variation; and then I do myself honour, and am blessed with invisible precedence, mystical to others; and the joke is, that by this means I take place (for place is but fancy) of many that sit above me; and while most people in company look upon me as a modest man, I know myself to be a very assuming fellow, and do often look down with contempt on some at the upper end of the table. By this craft I at once gratify my humour (which is pride), and preserve my character; and this I take to be the art of life. And, sticking to this rule, I generally possess a middle place in company, even in the vulgar account, and am at meat, as wise men would be in the world,

And, to this purpose, my way is to carry a little pocket compass in my left fob, and from that I take my measures imperceptibly, as from a watch, in the usual way of comparing time before dinner; or, if I chance to forget that, I consider the situation of the parish church, and this is my never failing regulator.

I know some people take another way for this, and place themselves nearest the dish they like best; and their