Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 18.djvu/124

110 tells the officer elect, there is immediate occasion for forty or fifty guineas, to be given among clerks, or servants of some great minister. Thus the poor place hunter is drilled on, from one month to another, perpetually squeezed of ready money, and nothing done. This trade don Guzman has carried on for many years, and frequently with five or six dupes in hand at a time, and perhaps all of them for one place. I know it will be the wonder of many people, as it has been mine, how such impostures as these could be so frequently repeated, and how so many disappointed people could be kept from making a noise and clamour that may ruin the trade and credit of this bold projector; but it is with him as with almanack makers, who gain more reputation by one right guess, than they lose by a thousand wrong ones. Besides I have already observed, that, once or twice in his life, he did actually provide for one or two persons; farther, it was his constant rule, whatever employment was given away, to assure his clients that he had the chief hand in disposing of it. When a man had no more to give, or was weary of attending, the excuse was, either that he had some private enemies, or the queen was engaged for that turn, or that he must think of something else: and then it was a new business, required new fees, and new hampers of wine; or, lastly, don Guzman was not to be seen, or talked cold and dry, or in very great haste, and so the matter dwindled to nothing: the poor pretender to an employment discovered the cheat too late, was often ashamed to complain, and was only laughed at when he did.

Having thus described some few of the qualifications which have so much distinguished this worthy manager ;