Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 17.djvu/340

334 a poor grain of oat, or tare, or barley. Such looks shot through the room transverse, oblique, direct; such was the stir and din, till Curll thus spoke (but without rising from his closestool:)

"Whores and authors must be paid beforehand to put them in good humour; therefore here is half a crown apiece for you to drink your own healths, and confusion to Mr. Addison and all other successful writers.

"Ah gentlemen! what have I not done, what have I not suffered, rather than the world should be deprived of your lucubrations; I have taken involuntary purges, I have been vomited, three times have I been caned, once was I hunted, twice was my head broke by a grenadier, twice was I tossed in a blanket; I have had boxes on the ear, slaps on the chops; I have been frighted, pumped, kicked, slandered, and beshitten. I hope, gentlemen, you are all convinced, that this author of Mr. Lintot's could mean nothing else but starving you, by poisoning me. It remains for us to conult the best and speediest method of revenge."

He had scarce done speaking, but the historian proposed a history of his life. The Exeter-exchange-gentlemen was for penning articles of his faith. Some pretty smart pindarick, says the red-stocking poet, would effectually do his business. But the indexmaker said, there was nothing like an index to his Homer.

After several debates, they came to the following resolutions:

"Resolved, That every member of this society, according to his several abilities, shall contribute " some