Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 17.djvu/253

Rh J. B. I am not much for that at present; we'll settle it between ourselves: fair and square, Nic., keeps friends together. There have been laid out in this lawsuit, at one time, 36000 pounds and 40000 crowns: in some cases I, in others you, bear the greatest proportion.

N. Right: I pay three fifths of the greatest number, and you pay two-thirds of the lesser number; I think this is fair and square, as you call it.

J. Well, go on.

N. Two thirds of 36000 pounds are 24000 pounds for your share, and there remains 12000 for mine. Again, of the 40000 crowns I pay 24000, which is three fifths, and you pay only 16000, which is two fifths; 24000 crowns make 6000 pounds; and 16000 crowns make 4000 pounds; 12000 and 6000 make 18000; 24000 and 4000 make 28000. So there are 18000 pounds to my share of the expenses, and 28000 to yours.

[After Nic had bamboozled John awhile about the 18000 and the 28000, John called for counters; but what with slight of hand, and taking from his own score and adding to John's, Nic. brought the balance always on his own side.]

J. B. Nay, good friend Nic., though I am not quite so nimble in the fingers, I understand ciphering as well as you. I will produce you my accompts one by one, fairly writ out of my own books: and here I begin with the first. You must excuse me, if I don't pronounce the law terms right. Rh