Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 17.djvu/250

244 amiss. Will nothing cure thee of thy pranks, Nic.? quoth I, I shall be forced some time or other to chastise thee. The rogue got up his cane, and threatened me, and was well thwacked for his pains. But I think his behaviour at this time worst of all; after I have almost drowned myself to keep his head above water, he would leave me sticking in the mud, trusting to his goodness to help me out. After I have beggared myself with his troublesome lawsuit, with a pox to him, he takes it in mighty dudgeon, because I have brought him here to end matters amicably, and because I won't let him make me over by deed and indenture as his lawful cully; which to my certain knowledge he has attempted several times. But, after all, canst thou gather grapes from thorns? Nic. does not pretend to be a gentleman; he is a tradesman, a self-seeking wretch; but how camest thou to bear all this, John? The reason is plain; thou conferrest the benefits, and he receives them; the first produces love, and the last ingratitude. Ah! Nic. Nic. thou art a damn'd dog, that's certain; thou knowest too well, that I will take care of thee; else thou wouldst not use me thus. I won't give thee up, it is true; but as true as it is, thou shalt not sell me, according to thy laudable custom." While John was deep in this soliloquy, Nic. broke out into the following protestation.

GENTLEMEN,

"I believe every body here present will allow me to be a very just and disinterested person. My friend John Bull here is very angry with me, forsooth, because I won't agree to his foolish bargains. Now