Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 17.djvu/244

238 votary in so pregnant an instance? How will my brother Martin laugh at this story, to see himself outdone in his own calling? He has taken the doctrine, and left me the practice.

No sooner had he uttered these words, but like a man of true courage, he tied the fatal cord to the beam, fitted the noose, and mounted upon the bottom of a tub, the inside of which he had often graced in his prosperous days. This footstool Habbakkuk kicked away, and left poor Jack swinging, like the pendulum of Paul's clock. The fatal noose performed its office, and with the most strict ligature squeezed the blood into his face, till it assumed a purple dye. While the poor man heaved from the very bottom of his belly for breath, Habbakkuk walked with great deliberation into both the upper and lower room to acquaint his friends, who received the news with great temper, and with jeers and scoffs, instead of pity. "Jack has hanged himself!" quoth they, "let us go and see how the poor rogue swings." Then they called sir Roger. "Sir Roger," quoth Habbakkuk, "Jack has hanged himself; make haste and cut him down." Sir Roger turned first one ear, and then t'other, not understanding what he said.

H. I tell you, Jack has hanged himself up.

Sir R. Who's hanged?

H. Jack.

Sir R. I thought this had not been hanging day.

H. But the poor fellow has hanged himself.

Sir R. Then let him hang; I don't wonder at it, the fellow has been mad these twenty years.With this he slunk away.

Then Jack's friends began to hunch and push one another.