Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 17.djvu/199

Rh state, and sit down by his prince cheek by jole; Confound these states, says he, they are a modern invention: when he spoke to his prince, he always turned his brch upon him: if he was advised to fast for his health, he would eat roast beef; if he was allowed a more plentiful diet, then he would be sure that day to live upon watergruel; he would cry at a wedding, laugh and make jests at a funeral.

He was no less singular in his opinions; you would have burst your sides to hear him talk of politicks: "All government, says he, is founded upon the right distribution of punishments; decent executions keep the world in awe; for that reason the majority of mankind ought to be hanged every year. For example, I suppose, the magistrate ought to pass an irreversible sentence upon all blue-eyed children from the cradle ; but that there may be some show of justice in this proceeding, these children ought to be trained up by masters, appointed for that purpose, to all sorts of villany ; that they may deserve their fate, and the execution of them may serve as an object of terrour to the rest of mankind." As to the giving of pardons, he had this singular method, that when these wretches had the rope about their necks, it should be inquired, who believed they should be hanged, and who not ? the first were to be pardoned, the last hanged outright. Such as were once pardoned, were never to be hanged afterward for any crime whatsoever. He had such skill in physiognomy, that he would pronounce peremptorily upon a man's face, That fellow, says he, . XVII.