Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 17.djvu/161

Rh porters; for enrollings, exemplifications, bails, vouchers, returns, caveats, examinations, filing of writs, entries, declarations, replications, recordars, noli prosequis, certioraris, mittimuses, demurrers, special verdicts, informations, scire facias, supersedeas, habeas corpus, coach-hire, treating of witnesses, &c. "Verily," says John, "there are a prodigious number of learned words in this law; what a pretty science it is!" "Ay! but husband, you have paid for every syllable and letter of these fine words; bless me, what immense sums are at the bottom of the account!" John spent several weeks in looking over his bills: and by comparing and stating his accounts, he discovered, that beside the extravagance of every article, he had been egregiously cheated; that he had paid for council that were never feed, for writs that were never drawn, for dinners that were never dressed, and journies that were never made: In short, that the tradesmen, lawyers, and Frog, had agreed to throw the burden of the lawsuit upon his shoulders.

ELL might the learned Daniel Burgess say, that a lawsuit is a suit for life. He that sows his grain upon marble, will have many a hungry belly before harvest.