Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 16.djvu/256

248 Let gamesters consider that death is hazard and passage, upon the turn of a die. Let lawyers consider it is a hard case. And let punners consider how hard it is to die jesting, when death is so hard in digesting.

As for my lord lieutenant the earl of Mungomerry, I am sure he be-wales my misfortune; and it would move him to stand by, when the carpenter (while my friends grieve and make an odd splutter) nails up my coffin. I will make a short affidavi-t, that, if he makes my epitaph, I will take it for a great honour; and it is a plentiful subject. His excellency may say, that the art of punning is dead with Tom. Tom has taken all puns away with him, Omne tulit pun-Tom. — May his excellency long live tenant to the queen in Ireland! We never Herberd so good a governor before. Sure he mun-go-merry home, that has made a kingdom so happy. I hear my friends design to publish a collection of my puns. Now I do confess, I have let many a pun go, which did never pungo: therefore the world must read the bad as well as the good. Virgil has long foretold it; Punica mala leges. I have had several forebodings that I should soon die; I have of late been often at committees, where I have sat de die in diem. I conversed much with the usher of the black rod: I saw his medals; and woe is me dull soul, not to consider they are but dead mens faces stamped over and over by the living, which will shortly be my condition.

Tell Sir Andrew Fountaine, I ran clear to the bottom, and wish he may be a late a river where I am going. He used to brook compliments. May his sand be long a running; not quick sand, like mine! Bid him avoid poring upon monuments and books; which is in