Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 16.djvu/164

156 you leave the gentleman's house, tell your master what a covetous hunks that gentleman was, that you got nothing but buttermilk or water to drink; this will make your master out of pity allow you a pot of ale the more at the next inn: but if you happen to get drunk in a gentleman's house, your master cannot be angry, because it cost him nothing: and so you ought to tell him as well as you can in your present condition, and let him know it is both for his and the gentleman's honour to make a friend's servant welcome.

A master ought always to love his groom, to put him in a handsome livery, and to allow him a silver-laced hat. When you are in this equipage, all the honours he receives on the road are owing to you alone: that he is not turned out of the way by every carrier, is caused by the civility he receives at second hand from the respect paid to your livery.

You may now and then lend your master's pad to a brother servant, or your favourite maid, for a short jaunt, or hire him for a day, because the horse is spoiled for want of exercise; and if your master happens to want his horse, or has a mind to see the stable, curse that rogue the helper, who is gone out with the key.

When you want to spend an hour or two with your companions at the alehouse, and that you stand in need of a reasonable excuse for your stay, go out of the stable door, or the back way, with an old bridle, girth, or stirrup-leather in your pocket; and on your return, come home by the street door with the same bridle, girth, or stirrup-leather dangling in your hand, as if you came from the saddler's, where you were getting the same mended; if you were not missed, all is well; but if you are met by your master, you will Rh