Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 16.djvu/160

152 If you are a piece of a farrier, as every good groom ought to be, get sack, brandy, or strong beer, to rub your horses heels every night, and be not sparing, for (if any be spent) what is left, you know how to dispose of it.

Consider your master's, health, and rather than let him take long journeys, say the cattle are weak, and fallen in their flesh with hard riding: tell him of a very good inn five miles nearer than he intended to go; or leave one of his horse's fore shoes loose in the morning; or contrive that the saddle may pinch the beast in his withers; or keep him without corn all night and morning, so that he may tire on the road; or wedge a thin plate of iron between the hoof and the shoe to make him halt; and all this in perfect tenderness to your master.

When you are going to be hired, and the gentleman asks you, Whether you are apt to be drunk; own freely that you love a cup of good ale; but that it is your way, drunk or sober, never to neglect your horses.

When your master has a mind to ride out for the air, or for pleasure, if any private business of your own makes it inconvenient for you to attend him; give him to understand, that the horses want bleeding or purging; that his own pad has got a surfeit; or that the saddle wants stuffing, and his bridle is gone to be mended: this you may honestly do, because it will be no injury to the horses or your master; and at the same time shows the great care you have of the poor dumb creatures.

If there be a particular inn in the town whither you are going, and where you are well acquainted with