Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 16.djvu/155

Rh, give it you gratis, and only score you up for the liquor, immediately after you were packed off in disgrace, carried a petition to your master to be paid out of your wages, whereof not a farthing was due, and then pursued you with bailiffs into every blind cellar. Remember how soon you grew shabby, threadbare, and out at heels; was forced to borrow an old livery coat, to make your appearance while you were looking for a place; and sneak to every house where you had an old acquaintance to steal you a scrap to keep life and soul together; and upon the whole, were in the lowest station of human life, which, as the old ballad says, is that of a skipkennel turned out of place; I say, remember all this now in your flourishing condition. Pay your contributions duly to your late brothers the cadets, who are left to the wide world; take one of them as your dependant to send on your lady's messages, when you have a mind to go to the alehouse: slip him out privately now and then a slice of bread, and a bit of cold meat; your master can afford it; and if he be not yet put upon establishment for a lodging, let him lie in the stable, or the coach-house, or under the back stairs, and recommend him to all the gentlemen who frequent your house as an excellent servant.

To grow old in the office of a footman, is the highest of all indignities: therefore when you find years coming on without hopes of a place at court, a command in the army, a succession to the stewardship, an employment in the revenue, (which two last you cannot obtain without reading and writing) or running away with your master's niece or daughter; I directly advise you to go upon the road, which is the only post of honour left you: there you will Rh