Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 16.djvu/126

118 shortest and surest way is, when you remove the cloth, to wrap the knives, forks, spoons, saltcellars, broken bread, and scraps of meat all together, in the tablecloth; by which you will be sure to lose nothing, unless you think it better to shake them out of the window among the beggars, that they may with more convenience eat the scraps.

Leave the dregs of wine, ale, and other liquors in the bottles: to rincerinse [sic] them is but loss of time, since all will be done at once in a general washing; and you will have a better excuse for breaking them.

If your master has many musty, or very foul and crusted bottles, I advise you, in point of conscience, that those may be the first you truck at the next alehouse for ale or brandy.

When a message is sent to your master, be kind to your brother-servant who brings it; give him the best liquor in your keeping, for your master's honour; and at the first opportunity he will do the same to you.

After supper, if it be dark, carry your plate and china together in the same basket, to save candlelight, for you know your pantry well enough to put them up in the dark.

When company is expected at dinner, or in the evenings, be sure to be abroad, that nothing may be got which is under your key; by which your master will save his liquor, and not wear out his plate.

I come now to a most important part of your economy, the bottling of a hogshead of wine, wherein I recommend three virtues, cleanliness, frugality, and brotherly love. Let your corks be of the longest kind you can get; which will save some wine in the neck