Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 16.djvu/123

Rh There is an excellent invention found out of late years in the management of ale and small beer at the sideboard: for instance, a gentleman calls for a glass of ale and drinks but half; another calls for small beer: you immediately turn out the remainder of the ale into the tankard, and fill the glass with small beer; and so backward and forward, as long as dinner lasts, by which you answer three ends: First, you save yourself the trouble of washing, and consequently the danger of breaking your glasses: Secondly, you are sure not to be mistaken in giving gentlemen the liquor they call for: And lastly, by this method you are certain that nothing is lost.

Because butlers are apt to forget to bring up their ale and beer time enough, be sure you remember to have up yours two hours before dinner; and place them in the sunny part of the room, to let people see that you have not been negligent.

Some butlers have a way of decanting (as they call it) bottled ale, by which they lose a good part of the bottom; let your method be to turn the bottle directly upside down, which will make the liquor appear double the quantity: by this means, you will be sure not to lose one drop, and the froth will conceal the muddiness.

Clean your plate, wipe your knives, and rub the dirty tables, with the napkins and tablecloths used that day; for it is but one washing, and besides, it will save you wearing out the coarse rubbers; and in reward of such good husbandry, my judgment is, that you may lawfully make use of the finest damask napkins for nightcaps for yourself. Rh