Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 13.djvu/287

Rh it. I am checking you for your chickens, and could lamb you for your lambs. Addenda quædam.

My wife a rattling, My children tattling. My money spent is, And due my rent is. My school decreasing, My income ceasing. All people tease me, But no man pays me. My worship is bit, By that rogue Nisbit. To take the right way, Consult friend Whiteway. Would you get still more? Go flatter Kilmore. Your geese are old, Your wife a scold.

Mrs. Whiteway is ever your friend, but your old ones have forsaken you, as mine have me. My head is very bad; and I have just as much spirits left as a drowned mouse. Pray do not you give yourself airs of pretending to have flies in summer at Cavan; and such a no summer as this: I, who am the best flycatcher in the kingdom, have not thought it worth my time to show my skill in that art. I believe nothing of your garden improvements, for I know you too well. What you say of your leanness is incredible; for when I saw you last you were as broad as long. But if you continue to breathe free (which nothing but exercise can give) you may be safe with as little flesh as I, which is none at all. Rh