Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 1.djvu/468

 lord Orrery, to which I can give no credit. The first is thus related by his lordship: "As soon as he had taken possession of his two livings, he went to reside at Laracor, and gave publick notice to his parishioners, that he would read prayers every Wednesday and Friday. Upon the subsequent Wednesday the bell was rung, and the rector attended in his desk; when after having sat some time, and finding the congregation to consist only of himself, and his clerk Roger, he began with great composure and gravity, but with a turn peculiar to himself, 'Dearly beloved Roger — the Scripture moveth you and me in sundry places,' &c. — And then proceeded regularly through the whole service. I mention this trifling circumstance only to show you, that he could not resist a vein of humour, whenever he had an opportunity of exerting it."

Now to suppose that a man of Swift's religious turn, should have made such a mockery of this solemn act of worship, and afterward go through the whole service, notwithstanding the many absurdities that would follow in the course of it, from there being no congregation present, merely for the sake of a paltry jest, is too gross an imposition to be easily swallowed. It is not indeed improbable, that Swift afterward, in relating this circumstance, might have said, he had a mind to begin the service with — "Dearly beloved Roger," &c. and they who heard this, as is frequently the case on such occasions, thought it would improve the story much by making him carry it into execution, and related it accordingly. The other story is thus told by his lordship. "His humorous disposition tempted him to actions inconsistent with the dignity of a clergyman; and " such