Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 1.djvu/448

 A young gentleman, much addicted to laughing, happened to get into Swift's company; and having heard much of the dean's pleasantries, was upon the titter at every thing he said: "Where is the jest?" said some one. "There," said Swift, pointing at the laughing young gentleman.

One day travelling in England, he asked a farmer which was the road to such a place; the farmer said it lay straight before him, he could not miss it. Swift riding a little way, observed a by-road to the left, and turned into it. The farmer called out to him that he was going wrong. "Why," said Swift, "did you not tell me I could not miss it?" "No more you could," said the farmer, "if you had not been a fool."

Another time seeing a man fall from his horse in a slough, he rode up to him, inquiring whether he was hurt? "No," replied the farmer, "but I am woundily bemired." "You make good the old proverb," said Swift, "the more dirt, the less hurt." The man seemed much comforted with the old saying, but said he had never heard of that proverb before; and no wonder, for Swift had made it on the occasion. He used often to coin proverbs of that sort, and pass them for old.

One day walking in the garden of a stingy old gentleman, with many others in company, he saw a quantity of fine fruit, of which the owner never offered them a taste; Swift stopped at a peach tree loaded with tempting fruit, and addressed the company with — "It was an old saying of my grandmother's, always pull a peach, when it lies in your reach:" he accordingly plucked one; and his example