Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 1.djvu/447

Rh fit of laughter, and Swift was silent the rest of the day.

One time going out of town, he said to Mr. Cope, "will you write to me?" And without waiting for an answer, continued, "No, I forgot, you are an idle man, and will never find time." He spent a good deal of time in the north at Mr. Robert Cope's, and was member of a club consisting of the neighbours who met periodically: one of the members was an old man remarkably stiff and surly; who valued himself much upon great plantations of fir-trees which he had raised about his house. Swift desired to look at them; and having put a rule in his pocket for the purpose, said he would try whether they were planted at exact distances, and laying down his rule, went obliquely on purpose from tree to tree, saying, he that planted them knew nothing of the matter. The old gentleman snatched up the rule in a great passion, swearing he never saw such a fool of a measurer in all his life.

There was a trap laid for the same old gentleman by one of the merry members of the club, Dr. Tisdal; who riding in company with Dr. Swift and others, near his house, laid a wager that he would make old Workman call himself Bruin the Bear. He had beforehand known that it was his day for brewing. They all rid up to the door, when Tisdal accosted the old gentleman with, "Pray, Mr. Workman, are not you brewing to day?" "Yes." "Are you brewing the barley, or brewing the beer?" "Brewing the barley," said Workman, to Tisdal's great disappointment; who, beside losing his wager, had the laugh of the company against him. A young