Page:The Works of J. W. von Goethe, Volume 5.djvu/90

76 found myself between them, as little able to ward off the spiritual effects of the adventure as to avoid the evil-boding kiss. The delicate health of Frederica seemed to hasten the threatened calamity; and now her love to me wore a most unhappy aspect, and I wished myself at the other side of the world.

But something still more painful to me, which lay in the background, I will not conceal. A certain conceit kept that superstition alive in me; my lips, whether consecrated or cursed, appeared to me more important than usual; and with no little complacency was I aware of my self-denying conduct, in renouncing many an innocent pleasure, partly to preserve my magical advantage, partly to avoid injuring a harmless being by giving it up.

But now all was lost and irrevocable: I had returned into a mere common position; and I thought that I had harmed, irretrievably injured, the dearest of beings. Thus, far from my being freed from the curse, it was flung back from my lips into my own heart.

All this together raged in my blood, already excited by love and passion, wine and dancing, confused my thoughts and tortured my feelings, so that, especially as contrasted with the joys of the day before, I was in a state of despair which seemed unbounded. Fortunately daylight peered in upon me through a chink in the shutter; and the sun, vanquishing all the powers of night, set me again upon my feet: I was soon in the open air, and refreshed, if not restored.

Superstition, like many other fancies, very easily loses in power, when, instead of flattering our vanity, it stands in its way, and would fain produce an evil hour to this delicate being. We then see well enough that we can get rid of it when we choose: we renounce it the more easily, as all of which we deprive ourselves turns to our own advantage. The sight of Frederica, the feeling of her love, the cheerfulness of everything