Page:The Works of Francis Bacon (1884) Volume 1.djvu/255

Rh company of knaves and fools, and there's half-a-crown for you, I will never stand changing of money." 22. A witty rogue coming into a lace shop, said he had occasion for some lace, choice whereof being showed him, he at last pitched upon one pattern, and asked them how much they would have for so much as would reach from ear to ear, for so much he had occasion for; they told him for so much: so some few words passing between them, he at last agreed, and told down his money for it, and began to measure on his own head, thus saying, "One ear is here, and the other is nailed to the pillory in Bristol, and I fear you have not so much of this lace by you at present as will perfect my bargain; therefore this piece of lace shall suffice at present in part of payment, and provide the rest with all expedition."

23. A woman being suspected by her husband for dishonesty, and being by him at last pressed very hard about it, made him quick answer with many protestations, "That she knew no more of what he said than the man in the moon:" Now the captain of the ship called "The Moon" was the very man she so much loved.

24. An apprentice of London being brought before the chamberlain by his master, for the sin of incontinency, even with his own mistress; the chamberlain thereupon gave him many Christian exhortations, and at last he mentioned and pressed the chastity of Joseph when his mistress tempted him with the like crime of incontinency. "Ay, sir," said the apprentice, "but if Joseph's mistress had been as handsome as mine is, he could not have forborne."

25. When my Lord President of the Council was newly advanced to the Great Seal, Gondomar came to visit him; my lord said, "That he was to thank God and the king for that honour; but yet, so he might be rid of the burden, he could very willingly forbear the honour. And that he formerly had a desire, and the same continued with him still, to lead a private life." Gondomar answered that he would tell him a tale, "Of an old rat that would needs leave the world: and acquainted the young rats that he would retire into his hole, and spend his days solitarily; and would enjoy no more comfort: and commanded them, upon his high displeasure, not to offer to come in unto him. They forbore two or three days; at last, one that was more hardy than the rest, incited some of his fellows to go in with him, and he would venture to see how his father did; for he might be dead. They went in, and found the old rat sitting in the midst of a rich Parmesan cheese." So he applied the fable after his witty manner.

26. Mr. Houland, in conference with a young student, arguing a case, happened to say, "I would ask you but this question." The student presently interrupted him to give him an answer. Whereunto Mr. Houland gravely said; "Nay, though I ask you a question, yet I did not mean you should answer me, I mean to answer myself."

 

1. ", quanto in arte est melior, tanto est nequior."

A gamester, the greater master he is in his art, the worse man he is.

2. "Arcum, intensio frangit; animum, remissio."

Much bending breaks the bow; much unbending, the mind.

3. "Bis vincit, qui se vincit in victoria."

He conquers twice, who upon victory overcomes himself.

4. "Cum vitia prosint, peccat, qui recte facit."

If vices were upon the whole matter profitable, the virtuous man would be the sinner.

5. "Bene dormit, qui non sentit quod male dormiat." 