Page:The Works of Francis Bacon (1884) Volume 1.djvu/252

124 who had not had the effect of some of the queen's grants so soon as he had hoped and desired, paused a little; and then made answer, "Madam, he thinks of a woman's promise." The queen shrunk in her head; but was heard to say, "Well, Sir Edward, I must not confute you." Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.

6. When any great officer, ecclesiastical or civil, was to be made, the queen would inquire after the piety, integrity, learning of the man. And when she was satisfied in these qualifications, she would consider of his personage. And upon such an occasion she pleased once to say to me, "Bacon, how can the magistrate maintain his authority when the man is despised?"

7. In eighty-eight, when the queen went from Temple-bar along Fleet-street, the lawyers were ranked on one side, and the companies of the city on the other; said Master Bacon to a lawyer that stood next him, "Do but observe the courtiers; if they bow first to the citizens, they are in debt; if first to us, they are in law."

8. King James was wont to be very earnest with the country gentlemen to go from London to their country houses. And sometimes he would say thus to them, "Gentlemen, at London you are like ships in a sea, which show like nothing; but in your country villages you are like ships in a river, which look like great things."

9. Soon after the death of a great officer, who was judged no advancer of the king's matters, the king said to his solicitor Bacon, who was his kinsman, "Now tell me truly, what say you of your cousin that is gone?" Mr. Bacon answered. "Sir, since your majesty doth charge me, I'll e'en deal plainly with you, and give you such a character of him, as if I were to write his story. I do think he was no fit counsellor to make your affairs better: but yet he was fit to have kept them from growing worse." The king said, "On my so'l, man, in the first thou speakest like a true man, and in the latter like a kinsman."

10. King James, as he was a prince of great judgment, so he was a prince of marvellous pleasant humour; and there now come into my mind two instances of it. As he was going through Lusen, by Greenwich, he asked what town it was? They said, Lusen. He asked a good while after, "What town is this we are now in?" They said still, 'twas Lusen. "On my so'l," said the king, "I will be king of Lusen."

11. In some other of his progresses, he asked how far it was to a town whose name I have forgotten. They said, "Six miles." Half an hour after, he asked again. One said, "Six miles and an half." The king alighted out of his coach, and crept under the shoulder of his led horse. And when some asked his majesty what he meant? "I must stalk," said he, "for yonder town is shy, and flies me."

12. Count Gondomar sent a compliment to my Lord St. Albans, wishing him a good Easter. My lord thanked the messenger, and said, "He could not at present requite the count better than in returning him the like; that he wished his lordship a good passover."

13. My Lord Chancellor Elsmere, when he had read a petition which he disliked, would say, "What, you would have my hand to this now!" And the party answering, "Yes;" he would say further, "Well, so you shall: nay, you shall have both my hands to it." And so would, with both his hands, tear it in pieces.

14. I knew a wise man, that had it for a byword, when he saw men hasten to a conclusion, "Stay a little that we may make an end the sooner."

15. Sir Francis Bacon was wont to say of an angry man who suppressed his passion, "That he thought worse than he spake;" and of an angry man that would chide, "That he spoke worse than he thought."

16. He was wont also to say, "That power in an ill man was like the power of a black witch; he could do hurt but no good with it." And he would add, "That the magicians could turn water into blood, but could not turn the blood again to water."

17. When Mr. Attorney Cook, in the exchequer, gave high words to Sir Francis Bacon, and stood much upon his higher place: Sir Francis said to him, "Mr. Attorney, the less you speak of your own greatness, the more I shall think of it; and the more, the less."

18. Sir Francis Bacon, coming into the Earl of Arundel's garden, where there were a great number of ancient statues of naked men and women, made a stand, and, as astonished, cried out, "The resurrection."

19. Sir Francis Bacon, who was always for moderate counsels, when one was speaking of such a reformation of the Church of England, as would in effect make it no church; said thus to him, "Sir, the subject we talk of is the eye of England; and if there be a speck or two in the eye, we endeavour to take them off, but he were a strange oculist who would pull out the eye."

20. The same Sir Francis Bacon was wont to say; "That those who left useful studies for useless scholastic speculations, were like the Olympic gamesters, who abstained from necessary abours, that they might be fit for such as were not so."

21. He likewise often used this comparison: "The empirical philosophers are like to pismires; they only lay up and use their store. The rationalists are like to spiders; they spin all out of their own bowels. But give me a philosopher,