Page:The White Peacock, Lawrence, 1911.djvu/446

438 He did not answer, but fumbled for the garment in the darkness. When he had found it, he said:

“Do you mind if I smoke?”

I did not. He fumbled again in his pockets for cigarettes, always refusing to switch on the light. I watched his face bowed to the match as he lighted his cigarette. He was still handsome in the ruddy light, but his features were coarser. I felt very sorry for him, but I saw that I could get no nearer to him, to relieve him. For some time I lay in the darkness watching the end of his cigarette like a ruddy, malignant insect hovering near his lips, putting the timid stars immensely far away. He sat quite still, leaning on the sofa arm. Occasionally there was a little glow on his cheeks as the cigarette burned brighter, then again I could see nothing but the dull red bee.

I suppose I must have dropped asleep. Suddenly I started as something fell to the floor. I heard him cursing under his breath.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“I’ve only knocked something down—cigarette case or something,” he replied, apologetically.

“Aren’t you coming to bed?” I asked.

“Yes, I’m coming,” he answered quite docile.

He seemed to wander about and knock against things as he came. He dropped heavily into bed.

“Are you sleepy now?” I asked.

“I dunno—I shall be directly,” he replied.

“What’s up with you?” I asked.

“I dunno,” he answered. “I am like this sometimes, when there’s nothing I want to do, and nowhere I want to go, and nobody I want to be near.