Page:The Way of a Virgin.djvu/52



Once upon a time a tailor possessed a magic ring; soon as he put it upon his finger, his yard assumed an extraordinary development. It fell out that he went to work at the house of a woman; by nature he was gay and given to jesting, and when he lay down to slumber he neglected always cover his genitals.

The woman observed that he had a yard of great proportions; desirious of sampling the power of such an instrument, she summoned the tailor to her chamber.

"Hearken," quoth she to him. "Consent to sin once with me."

"Why not, madam? But only on one condition—that thou dost not fart! If thou dost fart, thou shalt pay me three hundred roubles."

"Very good," answered she.

They betook themselves to bed; the good woman took all possible precautions not to expel wind during the sexual act; she instructed her chambermaid to seek a large onion, to thrust this into her fundament, and to hold it there with both hands. These orders were carried out minutely, but at the first assault delivered by the tailor upon the woman, the onion was violently expelled and struck