Page:The Strand Magazine (Volume 5).djvu/34

 for me to put down my foot at last. (Exit, talking and gesticulating angrily.)

(After the exit of, and  look up slowly at one another. Their eyes meet. They turn away.)

(much embarrassed): Kitty!


 * Jem!


 * This is painful! In fact, it's worse than wicked—it's vulgar!

(gently). It's simply dreadful to see two people behaving in such a way.


 * And at their time of life!


 * That's the awful part of it!


 * I wonder how they can do it!

(archly, yet on the verge of tears): So do I!

(At the last words they turn; their eyes meet. falters.  falters. After a moment they fall into one another's arms.)

Enter : Her ladyship has bidden me to put her trunks together, ma'am.


 * Wait a minute, Porter. Perhaps I can persuade her ladyship to stay. (Voices from without.)


 * I wish to go this instant, and alone.


 * By all means, and to-morrow my lawyer shall wait on you.


 * And mine on you. (After a moment, they enter.)


 * And it has come to this, William!


 * By mutual consent. This is the happiest day of my life. I breathe again. I know now I have never breathed until this moment since the day I married you!


 * This is beyond everything! (Violently excited.)

(whispers aside to, unobserved; play on both sides; then, after evidently agreeing on a plan, pretend to treat the matter as a joke; advancing): Bravo! Bravissimo! Capital! (Roars with forced laughter.)


 * Splendid! I never saw anything so well done! (Joins her husband in laughter.)


 * It's no laughing matter!


 * Ha ha! I daresay not.


 * Irving and Ellen Terry are not in it! (Continues laughing.)


 * What can you mean?


 * Oh, don't pretend that you and my