Page:The Strand Magazine (Volume 5).djvu/30



(flattered): Indeed!


 * Indeed! I must say that no one could appreciate Aunt Flo's virtues more than I, although at the same time I am certain she would very soon have lost her sweet temper if her husband had been aggravating, ignorant, domineering!


 * Why not call me a savage at once?


 * A savage! Yes! A savage!


 * Oh! Kitty! Kitty! Is this the way to make friends?


 * Come, Uncle Will! Let us go into the smoking-room! I shall choke here! (Exit.)


 * There's but little hope for them! Little hope! Little hope! (Exit, shaking his head.)

Now, perhaps, you believe that I have something to put up with?

(soothingly): And yet there's no doubt Jem is extremely fond of you.


 * He has a strange way of showing it! The other morning, after we had had one of our little scenes, I went down to the stream to find him when he was fishing. I would even have been willing to try and bait (shudders) his hook. But as I was starting off I met him coming up the garden, and he stared at me like an avenging god (or demon, I should say), and asked if I wasn't on my way to matins? Naturally, I did not contradict him.


 * Dearest! You distress me!


 * There's another thing I can't endure! You know I took the pledge, so as to be a good example to the village people here. Well! Jem is furious every time I refuse wine at luncheon or dinner. He declares that I pose! Can you imagine such nonsense?


 * Well, dear! I confess I sympathize with Jem. I don't think any really nice women ever take the pledge—do they? I only ask, you know.


 * Why, yes! Of course they do, aunty when they want to be good examples. Jem cannot understand this; and, far from taking the pledge himself, he revolts me day after day by drinking—(whispers mysteriously)—Bass's pale ale!


 * Ah! That's bad! But, oh! my dear, if you only knew the proper way to manage a husband!


 * How could I? For Jem is as unmanageable as the Great Mogul.


 * I see you don't realize how the most violent men are those most easy to subdue. Now, there's your uncle


 * I always thought him as mild as Moses!


 * So he is now! But there was a time


 * Oh! Do tell me all about it!


 * Well. There was a time when your uncle imagined he might be allowed to complain if dinner were late. One day he actually dared to ask, in a voice of thunder, "Is dinner ready?"


 * Jem dares that every day.


 * It happened to be the cook's fault.


 * Ah! That would make no difference to Jem.