Page:The Strand Magazine (Volume 3).djvu/211

 to collect himself once more to precipitate a driver; and here again he forgot to describe the particular kind of driver, owing to which he found he had precipitated a pig-driver, who was helplessly intoxicated into the bargain; but he did precipitate an engine-driver at last, who set fairly well, except part of one leg, which remained cloudy, so that the man had to move about by hopping.

Then we finally got in and waited breathlessly for the train to move. It did move! Very slowly, strangely, and creakily, showing that there was something wrong; however, that did not matter so long as we could get home somehow. We requested the driver not to drive fast and recklessly; and he replied that he was not likely to, with parts of the boiler like flannel, and requiring to be tied round with string to prevent it bursting.

That train never set properly; every two or three minutes some part or other of it would become nebulous again, the whole requiring incessant attention on the part of Moozeby who was getting thoroughly knocked up, and was losing his power.

Once the driver's body and legs became a cloud; and he called out to us that he couldn't undertake to drive in that condition; then the end of the carriage vanished suddenly into air, letting down a row of us on to the permanent way, and bruising us considerably. We were anything but comfortable, for we had to keep a very sharp look-out for trains which frequently came by; and on these occasions Moozeby would have to make a wild effort and precipitate, in all haste, a siding for us to run on to, until the other train had passed.

At length Moozeby could be kept awake no longer, in spite of all we could do by pinching and running pins into him; and the carriage, engine, and driver suddenly became soft—nebulous—air; leaving us on the permanent way, many miles from London, at two in the morning.

We were dreadfully angry with poor Moozeby at the time—unreasonably so, when one considers how much he had done for us; for after all said and done Moozeby is a very good fellow at heart, and his accomplishment remarkably useful at times; particularly when he is fresh and his precipitations will set properly.

It is foolish to attempt such a thing as a train, when one is tired; and, besides, it brings discredit on theosophy, and makes the uninitiated incredulous about it.