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28 dance movements of vast and exquisitely dressed officials and "atmosphere," for speciality dances by the Hoffman girls, of twinkling fountains of bathing pools, of Spanish arches, of miles and miles of rooms, of passionate embraces hastily broken, and thousands of moving cars!

And it is during this bewildering evening that, equally to our astonishment, we discover that Hamlet is not the gay and thoughtless lad that we had supposed, but that he is truly and wonderfully in love with the pansy-faced daughter of the doorkeeper, who loves him for himself alone. Sadie her name is, and she is played by the Bertha Lovely, who lives up to her name. And in the midst of all this royal rioting, over which hangs the sword of Damocles, we follow Hamlet on his long and hasty walk through the palace to the humble cottage under the eucalyptus trees.

The dear, sweet girl is caught just at the moment when in the simplest frock she is ironing her father's socks. A tender and delightful scene follows, in which, with the aid of several poetic titles, we discover that the girl and boy are in the midst of "Old Heidelberg" stuff. Neither of them knows what we know, nor have they any knowledge of the fact, as they sit down together to a snack of scrambled eggs, which Hamlet has gaily broken into the dish, that the reigning King has seen in the performance of the play the discovery of his dastardly deed. Unlike us, they have not seen him go clean off his nut in order that something of the theme of the original story may be follow with a certain faithfulness, or bolt from the palace, so that there may be at this point an epoch-making and entirely original chase through the long, wide streets of Elsinoria into Los Angeles.

Other things, in addition to King Claude's great big car, in which, as a matter of fact, the green jade lady is sitting beside the chauffeur disguised as an extra man, move very fast from now on. The story gets about. There are nasty and persistent references in the papers to pneumonia germs. The Labour leaders of Elsinoria confer at once. We see them in their committee-room on the top-floor of a skyscraper. Hard-faced men, with jowls. Without bothing about details they declare for revolution. They are convinced that it is quite time for the picture to develop action.

For that and no other reason a river overflows at that moment which buries the doorkeeper's charming little cottage beneath an ugly rush of water. It is here that Hamlet rises to great heights. He not only saves Sadie who happens to have been caught in the rushing stream, but also the Duke of Polonius, who was hiding in a punt. One of the wings of the palace is set of fire by incendiaries. There is an enormous blaze. The ubiquitous Hamlet, ever on the look-out for gallant deeds, fights his way through the smoke to his erring mother's boudoir and, having brought her into safety, goes back with his melting medals to rescue her favorite dog. During all this the revolutionaries swarm madly about the capital, sweeping the royalist army easily off the map. The two sentries are packed off home to bed and all the officers taken over to stand behind the Labour leader when he is photographed.

The green jade lady, who has a grudge against Claudie, suddenly grasps the wheel of his enormous car, and in spite of the resistance of the chauffeur turns it over an