Page:The Spirit of the Chinese People.djvu/137

 Thus we see the contract in a legal civic marriage in China is not between the woman and the man. The contract is between the woman and the family of her husband. She is not married to him, but into his family. In the visiting card of a Chinese lady in China, she does not write, for instance, Mrs. Ku Hung-ming, but literally "Miss Feng, gone to the home of the family (originally from) Tsin An adjusts her dress," (歸晉安馮氏襝衽).—The contract of marriage in China being between the woman and the family of her husband,—the husband and wife can neither of them repudiate the contract without the consent of the husband’s family. This I want to point out here, is the fundamental difference between a marriage in China and a marriage in Europe and America. The marriage in Europe and America,—is what we Chinese would call a sweet-heart marriage, a marriage, bound solely by love between the individual man and the individual woman. But in China the marriage is, as I have said, a civic marriage, a contract not between the woman and the man, but between the woman and the family of her husband,—in which she has obligations not only to him, but also to his family, and through the family, to society,—to the social or civic order; in fact, to the State. Finally let me point out here that it is this civic conception of marriage which gives solidarity and stability to the family, to the social or civic order, to the State in China. Until therefore, let me be permitted to say here,—the people in Europe and America understand