Page:The Royal Lady's Magazine (Volume 2, 1831).djvu/34

 and said, “If he does not go fast enough, you must call out to him, ''hopp! hopp!''”

Hans was delighted when he found himself on horseback, riding along so pleasantly. At the end of the first mile, he thought he might as well go a little faster; so ''hopp! hopp!'' quoth Hans, when the beast starting into a pretty round trot, Hans found himself safely landed in a ditch, before he knew where he was.

The horse would have escaped altogether had it not been stopped by a countryman, who was coming along and driving a cow before him. Hans picked himself up, and stood once more upon his legs. He was terribly out of humour, however, and said to the countryman, “Riding is bad sport, when one happens to get hold of such a vile jade as this, who stumbles and pitches one over her head, at the risk of breaking one’s neck; I’ll never mount her again, I know. Give me at any time a cow, in preference to a horse; one can walk behind a cow comfortably; and moreover, be certain every day of milk, butter, and cheese. What would I give now for such a cow as that!”

“Nay,” said the countryman, “if it will be any satisfaction to you, I will exchange my cow for your horse.”

Hans gladly consented, and the countryman mounting the horse rode off.

Hans drove his cow before him, congratulating himself all the way upon his lucky bargain. “Let me only have a piece of bread,” said he “(and I have never yet known the want of one), and I can now eat butter and cheese with it when I choose; or if I am thirsty, I have only to milk my cow, and have at once a delicious draught. What can the heart of man desire more?” Coming to a public-house, he halted; ate with great relish what he had with him; devoured at one meal both his dinner and supper; and paid for half a glass of beer with the last penny he had. Then he drove his cow on again, towards the village where his mother lived. The heat, however, became oppressive, as the day advanced, and Hans suffered so much from it, that his tongue cleaved to the roof of his mouth.

“This can soon be remedied,” quoth Hans, “I will milk my cow, and refresh myself.”

He fastened her to an old tree, and began to milk away; but he laboured in vain; not a drop of milk came. While, however, he continued to tug at the cow in the most awkward manner imaginable, she, impatient of such treatment, lifted up one of her hind legs and gave Hans a kick on the head, that laid him sprawling on the ground, without knowing, for some time, where he was. Fortunately, at that moment, a butcher happened to pass by, with a young porker in a wheelbarrow.

“What a thump that was!” cried he, and lifted up poor Hans.

Hans related what had happened. The butcher offered him his flask: and said, “Here, drink a little and recover yourself. But you will never get any milk from that cow, man; she is too old; the most she is fit for now is to draw, or for slaughter.”

“The devil she is!” exclaimed Hans, stroking down his hair. “Who would have thought that? It is all very well, however, when one can kill such an animal at home—how fleshy she is! But for my part, I am not fond of cow-beef; it is not juicy enough for me. Now a fine young pig—that is quite another sort of thing—and then, the delicious chitterlings!”

“Hark’ee, Hans,” said the butcher, “to oblige you, I have no objection to make an exchange, and give my pig for your cow.”

“Heaven bless your kindness!” quoth Hans; delivered the cow to him; unloosened the pig from the barrow; took hold of the string which was tied to his leg, and jogged on, thinking how fortunately every thing had turned out just as he wished; for no sooner did any vexation happen, than it was immediately set to rights. As he was thus meditating upon his good luck, a fellow joined company with him, who was carrying a beautiful white goose under his arm. They bade good day to each other; after which Hans related how fortunate he had been in having every time made an exchange for the better. His companion remarked that he was carrying his goose to a christening feast. “Lift it,” said he, holding it by the wings, “and feel how heavy it is; it has been fattening these eight weeks. They who eat of it when it is roasted, must take care and wipe the grease away from both sides of