Page:The Relations Tolstoy.pdf/70

 only in the domestic material question of what to eat, how to eat, how to dress, to lodge, but in the direction of their lives, in the aim of their activities. For the happiness, nay, more, for the true welfare of a man and wife, and of the children who live with them, and for the welfare of all near to them, concord is needed; their disunion, their quarrels, are a calamity for themselves and their children, they are a stumbling block for others, they are the most awful hell. And to avoid it only one thing is necessary -that one of the two shall submit. It seems to me that to the one who feels that his or her partner stands on a higher plane who apprehends something not quite distinct, but good, Godly -this is always felt -it should be so easy and joyous to submit that one is astonished it is not done.

For agreement between married people it is necessary that in their view of the universe and life, if they do not coincide, the one who has thought least should submit the one who has thought more. One should unite the service of men with the service of one's family, not mechanically by distributing one's time between the two, but chemically, by attaching to the care of one's family, the education of one's family, the education of one's children, the ideal significance of service to mankind. Marriage, true marriage, which realizes itself in the birth of children, is, in its true meaning, only an indirect service of God, a service of God through one's children. This is why marriage, conjugal love, is always experienced by us as a certain relief, peace. It is the moment o transference of one's work to another. "If I have not done all that I could and should have done, then here I have as my substitutes, my children. They will accomplish it."