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 Chapter 6

WHY WOMEN CAN BECOME FRIGID

Some time ago a young husband sat in my office. His wife had come to me for help for a frigidity problem, and after the first session he had asked her if he might see me. I take that to be a good omen for a relationship, generally, and I was not disappointed when I met him. He told me very quickly that he did not care how long it might take for his wife to get over her difficulty. "I'd stay with her even if she didn't," he said in a low voice. "I don't love her problem, but I love her and I want you to know that I didn't marry her for better only but for worse as well."

No matter how much a psychiatrist hears about love, its difficulties and its triumphs, a statement like that always moves one, makes one feel that tasks and difficulties have been somehow lightened. In short, I liked him, and this moved me to ask him about himself. "That's what I came to tell you about," he said. "There's something I thought just may be of some help."

What he wanted to tell me was the amazing similarity between his background and his wife's, and as he talked on I could see some of the reasons for his broad sympathy