Page:The Power of Sexual Surrender.pdf/239

 Chapter 18

THE ROLE OF THE MALE

When a woman decides to cross the bridge from frigidity to mature femininity her husband's attitudes, feelings, and reactions can be all-important.

I said earlier that we have found that the man is rarely responsible for his wife's frigidity; that it developed long before he met her. However, he must understand that, when she begins to assume responsibility for her difficulty, responsibilities of a new kind are thrust on him too. In the beginning at least, and contrary to what he might expect of himself, he may not like these responsibilities at all. He may find that he has a very negative attitude toward his wife's attempt to mature, that indeed he does not want her to.

It is very necessary for a man to understand the elements that make his role appear to him to be very difficult during such a period. In a sense, if the project is to succeed, he must be as aware of his reactions as his wife is of hers.

What, then, are the main elements of his reactions?

In the first place, the husband of a frigid woman generally has a great store of repressed resentment toward his