Page:The Power of Sexual Surrender.pdf/233

 She aired these irrational feelings quite completely and saw them for what they were. She saw that they were a recapitulation, in sexual terms, of the negative feelings she had expressed earlier toward men. She realized, too, that her feeling that it was humiliating and degrading to be "on the bottom" really showed her deep distress, fear of, and underlying depression about what she took to be woman's role in life.

The patient was rather surprised to see these irrational feelings reappearing. However, because of her earlier work on her psychological defenses, it was not too difficult for her to dispose of these negative attitudes toward the sexual act and to integrate her positive feelings about womanhood with woman's sexual role. At that point she was not far from achieving vaginal orgasm. Within a month or so she had achieved it.

When a woman consciously abandons clitoral gratification in favor of her search for a deeper and more abiding joy, the switch from clitoris to vagina usually takes place gradually. I have known cases in which it has happened rather quickly, but it is more frequently a matter of two, three, or even more months.

One further word on this type: the clitoridal woman may discover that she cannot take the final step to vaginal primacy alone. She may need direct and expert counsel. This should in no way discourage her. The problem is a deep-*seated one, but it almost certainly can be resolved. If after a few months of trying to handle the problem alone one finds out that too little progress is being achieved, I strongly urge that outside help be sought (see Addenda I, page 260, for methods of obtaining the correct kind of aid).

I have heard the therapy for total frigidity described as "a problem in rerearing." Recalling the case history of Patricia Agnew, one can easily see why this phrase is so apt.