Page:The Power of Sexual Surrender.pdf/232

 signifies a deep decision within a woman: the decision to take the final step toward womanhood.

On the other hand, many women experience the abandonment of clitoral gratification as a keen deprivation and deeply resent it. In such cases the resentment signifies that they have not sufficiently "felt through" their childhood defenses against femininity.

Obviously there are only two possible steps to take: one can continue the practice of masturbation or one can examine the resentment that is caused by giving it up. If a woman decides on the first step, progress toward the goal of vaginal orgasm may be slowed down or halted completely.

If, however, one decides to examine the resentment more closely, using the "feeling through" technique I have described, the bases upon which the resentment rests may be discovered and disposed of, just as resentments against men and against motherhood were disposed of. Indeed, many of the same feelings, though now more specifically related to sexuality, often come out.

Let me give an example. A patient with a clitoridal fixation had worked through many of her negative feelings toward her husband; she had seen that these feelings had been based on an irrational envy and fear of men and a depreciation of women. Her progress, however, seemed to halt completely when she attempted to give up clitoral masturbation.

All of her early feelings toward men returned, only now they referred to the act of intercourse. Men were the lucky ones; they were on top. Just as in life. Woman's classical sexual position in our civilization (on the bottom) was "degrading and humiliating." It represented her position vis-à-vis men in life. As in life, men were the ones for whom irresponsible enjoyment was designed; no wonder they could enjoy sex so much; and they couldn't get pregnant; they didn't have to menstruate, etc., etc.