Page:The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club.djvu/655

551 THE PICKWICK CLUB. • 551

glass in his hand, at once betook themselves to the kitchen, with Sam Weller heading the procession to shew them the way.

The stranger was still reading ; he looked up and started. Mr. Pott started.

" What's the matter ?" whispered Mr. Pickwick.

'' That reptile !" replied Pott.

" What reptile ? " said Mr. Pickwick, looking about him for fear he should tread on some overgrown black beetle, or dropsical spider.

" That reptile," whispered Pott, catching Mr. Pickwick by the arm, and pointing towards the stranger. *' That reptile — Slurk, of the Independent ! "

'' Perhaps we had better retire," whispered Mr. Pickwick.

" Never, Sir," rejoined Pott, — pot-valiant in a double sense — opposite settle, and selecting one from a little bundle of newspapers, began to read against his enemy.
 * ^ never." With these words, Mr. Pott took up his position on an

Mr. Pott, of course, read the Independent, and Mr. Slurk, of course, read the Gazette ; and each gentleman audibly expressed his contempt of the other's compositions by bitter laughs and sarcastic sniffs ; whence they proceeded to more open expressions of opinion, such as " absurd," — "' wretched," — " atrocity," — " humbug," —  knavery," — " dirt," — " filth, — " slime,"' — '' ditch water," and other critical remarks of the like nature.

Both Mr. Bob Sawyer and Mr. Ben Allen had beheld these symp- toms of rivalry and hatred with a degree of delight, which imparted great additional relish to the cigars at which they were puffing most vigorously. The moment they began to flag, the mischievous Mr. Bob Sawyer, addressing Slurk with great politeness, said —

" Will you allow me to look at your paper. Sir, when you have quite done with it ? "

"You'll find very little to repay you for your trouble in this con- temptible thing, Sir," replied Slurk, bestowing a Satanic frown on Pott.

'* You shall have this presently," said Pott, looking up, pale with rage, and quivering in his speech from the same cause. ^'Ha! ha! you will be amused with this fellow's audacity."

Terrific emphasis was laid upon "thing" and "fellow;" and the faces of both editors began to glow with defiance.

" The ribaldry of this miserable man is despicably disgusting," said Pott, pretending to address Bob Sawyer, and scowling upon Slurk.

Here Mr. Slurk laughed very heartily, and folding the paper so as to get at a fresh column conveniently, said, that the blockhead really amused him.

from pink to crimson.
 * ' What an impudent blunderer this fellow is," said Pott, turning

'^ Did you ever read any of this man's foolery, Sir ? " enquired Slurk, of Bob Sawyer.

" Never," replied Bob ; " is it very bad .?"

" Oh, shocking ! shocking !" rejoined Slurk.

" Really, dear me, this is too atrocious !" exclaimed Pott^ at this juncture; still feigning to be absorbed in his reading.

" If you can wade through a few sentences of malice, meanness.