Page:The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club.djvu/652

548 548 POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF


 * ' God bless me ! " exclaimed Mr. Pickwick.

" Yes, Sir, and supper," added Pott.

" You don't say so ! " ejaculated Mr. Pickwick.

Pott nodded portentously.

Now, although Mr. Pickwick feigned to stand aghast at this dis- closure, he was so little versed in local politics that he was unable to form an adequate comprehension of the importance of the dire con- spiracy it referred to ; observing which, Mr. Pott, drawing forth the last number of the Eatanswill Gazette, and referring to the same, delivered himself of the following paragraph : —

^' HoLE-AND-CoRNER BuFFERY.

" A reptile contemporary has recently sweltered forth his black venom in the vain and hopeless attempt of sullying the fair name of our distinguished and excellent representative, the Honourable Mr. Slumkey — that Slumkey whom we, long before he gained his present noble and exalted position, predicted would one day be, as he now is, at once his country's brightest honour, and her proudest boast: alike her bold defender and her honest pride — our reptile contemporary, we say, has made himself merry at the expense of a superbly embossed plated coal-scuttle, which has been presented to that glorious man by his enraptured constituents, and towards the purchase of which, the nameless wretch insinuates, the Honourable IMr. Slumkey himself con- tributed, through a confidential friend of his butler's, more than three- fourths of the whole sum subscribed. Why, does not the crawling creature see that even if this be the fact, the Honourable Mr. Slumkey only appears in a still more amiable and radiant light than before, if that be possible ? does not even his obtuseness perceive that this amiable and touching desire to carry out the wishes of the constituent body must for ever endear him to the hearts and souls of such of his fellow townsmen as are not worse than swine ; or, in other words, who are not as debased as our contemporary himself.'^ But such is the wretched trickery of hole-and-corner Buffery ! These are not its only artifices. Treason is abroad. We boldly state, now that we are goaded to the disclosure, and we throw ourselves on the country and its constables for protection : — we boldly state that secret preparations are at this moment in progress for a Buff ball, which is to be held in a Buff town, in the very heart and centre of a BufF population ; which is to be conducted by a Buff master of the ceremonies ; which is to be attended by four ultra Buff members of parliament, and the admission to which is to be by Buff tickets ! Does our fiendish contemporary wince ? Let him writhe in impotent malice as we pen the wordsj We will be there."

" There, Sir," said Pott, folding up the paper quite exhausted,
 * ' that is the state of the case."

The landlord and waiter entering at the moment with dinner, caused Mr. Pott to lay his finger on his lips in token that he considered his life in Mr. Pickwick's hands, and depended on liis secrecy. Messrs. Bob Sawyer and Benjamin Allen, who had irreverently fallen asleep during the reading of the quotation from the Eatanswill Gazette and

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