Page:The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club.djvu/629

527 THE PICKWICK CLUB. 527

him ^vith printed calico for a suit, and not an inch too much or too little, from that estimate alone.

swords.
 * ' * Quit this room/ said both the men together, grasping their

mciming.
 * *Eh?' said my uncle, not at all appearing to comprehend their

with the large sword, drawing it at the same time and flourishing it in the air.
 * ' * Quit the room, or you are a dead man,' said the ill-looking fellow

"'Down with him!' said the gentleman in sky-blue, drawing his sword also, and falling back two or three yards. ' Down with him !' The lady gave a loud scream,

" Now, my uncle was always remarkable for great boldness and great presence of mind. All the time that he had appeared so indif- ferent to what was going on, he had been looking slyly about for some missile or weapon of defence, and at the very instant when the swords were drawn, he espied standing in the chimney corner, an old basket- hilted rapier in a rusty scabbard. At one bound, my uncle caught it in his hand, drew it, Hourished it gallantly above his head, called aloud to the lady to keep out of the way, hurled the chair at the man in sky- blue, and the scabbard at the man in plum-colour, and taking advan- tage of the confusion, fell upon them both, pell-mell.

" Gentlemen, there is an old story — none the worse for being true — regarding a fine young Irish gentleman, who being asked if he could play the fiddle, replied he had no doubt he could, but he couldn't exactly say for certain, because he had never tried. This is not inapplicable to my uncle and his fencing. He had never had a sword in his hand before, except once when he played Richard the Third at a private theatre, upon which occasion it was arranged with Richmond that he was to be run through from behind without shewing figlit at all ; but here he was, cutting and slashing with two experienced swordsmen, thrusting, and guarding, and poking, and slicing, and acquitting himself in the most manful and dexterous manner possible, although up to that time he had never been aware that he had the least notion of the science. It only shows how true the old saying is, that a man never kno^ s what he can do, till he tries, gentlemen.

swearing like troopers, and their swords clashing with as much noise as if all the knives and steels in Newport market were rattling together at the same time. When it was at its very height, the lady, to encourage my uncle most probably, withdrew her hood entirely from her face, and disclosed a countenance of such dazzling beauty, that he would have fought against fifty men to win one smile from it and die. He had done wonders before, but now he began to powder away like a raving mad giant.
 * ' The noise of the combat was terrific, each of the three combatants

" At this very moment, the gentleman in sky-blue turning round, and seeing the young lady with her face uncovered, vented an excla- mation of rage and jealousy ; and turning his weapon against her beau- tiful bosom, pointed a thrust at her heart which caused my uncle to litter a cry of apprehension that made the building ring. The lady