Page:The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club.djvu/429

349 THE PICKWICK CLUB 849

water regularly every night — sometimes two (deep sighs). Found the second-hand wooden leg^ split and rot very quickly ; is firmly per- suaded that their constitution was undermined by the gin and water (prolonged cheering). Buys new wooden legs now, and drinks nothing but water and weak tea. The new legs last twice as long as the others used to do, and he attributes this solely to his temperate habits (tri- umphant cheers)."

Anthony Humm now moved that the assembly do regale itself with a song. With a view to their rational and moral enjoy- ment, brother Mordlin had adapted the beautiful words of "Who hasn't heard of a Jolly Young Waterman?" to the tune of the Old Hun- dredth, which he would request them to join him in singing (great applause). He might take that opportunity of expressing his firm, persuasion that the late Mr. Dibdin, seeing the errors of his former life, had written that song to show the advantages of abstinence. It was a Temperance song (whirlwinds of cheers). The neatness of the interesting young man's attire, the dexterity of his feathering, the enviable state of mind which enabled him, in the beautiful words of the poet, to

" Row along, thinking of nothing at all,"

all combined to prove that he must have been a water-drinker (cheers). Oh. what a state of virtuous jollity ! (rapturous cheering.) And what was the young man's reward ? Let all young men present mark this :

" The maidens all flock'd to his boat so readily."

(Loud cheers, in which the ladies joined.) What a bright example ! The sisterhood, the maidens, flocking round the young waterman, and urging him along the path of duty and of temperance. But, was it the maidens of humble life only, who soothed, consoled, and supported him ? No !

" He was always fij^t oars with the fine city ladies."

(Immense cheering). The soft sex to a man — he begged pardon, to a female — rallied round the young waterman, and turned with disgust from the drinker of spirits (cheers). The Brick Lane Branch brothers were watermen (cheers and laughter). That room was their boat; that audience were the maidens ; and he (Mr. Anthony Humm), however unworthily, was *^ firstoars " (unbounded applause).

"Wot does he mean by the soft sex, Sammy?" inquired Mr. Weller, in a whisper.

" The womin," said Sam, in the same tone.

" He ain't far out there, Sammy," replied Mr. Weller ; " they must be a soft sex, — a wery soft sex, indeed, if they let themselves be gam- moned by such fellers as him."

Any further observations from the indignant old gentleman were cut short by the commencement of the song, which Mr. Anthony Humm gave out, two lines at ^ time, for the information of such of his hearers