Page:The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club.djvu/428

348 348 POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF

Lane Branch brothers and sisters, then and there present, the secretary- would read the report of the Brick Lane Branch committee ; — a propo- sition which was ag-ain received with a demonstration of pocket-hand- kerchiefs.

The secretary having- sneezed in a very impressive manner, and the cough which always seizes an assembly, when anything particular is going to be done, having been duly performed, the following document was read :

" REPORT OF THE COMMITTEE OF THE BRICK LANE BRANCH OF THE UNITED GRAND JUNCTION EBENEZER TEMPERANCE ASSOCIATION.

past month, and have the unspeakable pleasure of reporting the follow- ing additional cases of converts to Temperance.
 * ' Your committee have pursued their grateful labours during the

" H. Walker, tailor, wife, and two children. When in better cir- cumstances, owns to having been in the constant habit of drinking ale and beer ; says he is not certain whether he did not twice a week, for twenty years, taste * dog's nose,* which your committee find upon inquiry, to be compounded of warm porter, moist sugar, gin, and nutmeg (a groan, and < So it is !' from an elderly female). Is now out of work and pennyless ; thinks it must be the porter (cheers) or the loss of the use of his right hand ; is not certain which, but thinks it very likely that, if he had drank nothing but water all his life, his fellow workman would never have stuck a rusty needle in him, and thereby occasioned his accident (tremendous cheering). Has nothing but cold water to drink, and never feels thirsty (great applause).

and washing, by the day ; never had more than one eye, but knows her mother drank bottled stout, and shouldn't wonder if that caused it (immense cheering). Thinks it not impossible that if she had always abstained from spirits, she might have had two eyes by this time (tremendous applause). Used, at every place she went to, to have eighteen pence a day, a pint of porter, and a glass of spirits ; but since she became a member of the Brick Lane Branch, has always demanded three and sixpence instead (the announcement of this most interesting fact was received with deafening enthusiasm).
 * ' Betsy Martin, widow, one child, and one eye. Goes out charing

" Henry Beller was for many years toast-master at various corpora- tion dinners, during which time he drank a great deal of foreign wine; may sometimes have carried a bottle or two home with him ; is not quite certain of that, but is sure if he did, that he drank the contents. Feels very low and melancholy, is very feverish, and has a constant thirst upon him ; thinks it must be the wine he used to drink (cheers). Is out of employ now ; and never touches a drop of foreign wine by any chance (tremendous plaudits).

" Thomas Burton is purveyor of cat's-meat to the Lord Mayor and Sheriffs, and several members of the Common Council (the announce- ment of this gentleman's name was received with breathless interest). Has a wooden leg ; finds a wooden leg expensive going over the stones ; used to wear second-hand wooden legs, and drink a glass of hot gin and